Hey You. Look At My Description



You fucked up you seriously fucked up.

actual photo of maryland


garlic bread is cool but have u ever had sex

posted 1 hour ago with 334,621 notes








Now You Know (Source)

Crows are scaryThey
use tools
Can be taught to speak (like parrots)
Have huge brains for birds
like seriously their brain-to-body size ratio is equal to that of a chimpanzee
They vocalize anger, sadness, or happiness in response to things
they are scary smart at solving puzzles
some ravens stay with their mates until one of them dies
they can remember faces
SIDENOTE HERE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT.  They did an experiment where these guys wore masks and some of them fucked with crows.  Pretty soon the crows recognized the masks = douchebag.  But the nice guys with masks they left alone.  THEN, OH WE’RE NOT DONE, NO SIR crows that WEREN’T EVEN IN THE EXPERIMENT AND NEVER SAW THE MASK BEFORE knew about mask-dudes and attacked them on sight.  THEY PASSED ON THE FUCKING INFORMATION TO THEIR CROW BUDDIES.
They remember places where crows were killed by farmers and change their migration patterns.
Guys I’m really scared of crows now.(q) 

i love crows so much

crows are amazing

My favorite legend is that crows are the souls of the dead

crows are the coolest shit

Yeah but have you seen this 



First of all you can go straight to hell you soulless shred of pocket lint

Guaranteed basic income to every citizen, whether or not they are employed to ensure their survival and that they live in a dignified, humane way, preventing poverty, illness, homelessness, reducing crime, encouraging higher education and learning vocations as well as helping society become more prosperous as a whole. 

The thing is, while I’m sure you could scrape up a few people who’d be willing to just float by on a guaranteed minimum income? For most people the choice to work would be a no-brainer. “Hmmm. I can get by on 33k a year, or I can take that part time job and make 48k… enough to move to a better apartment, maybe take the family on vacation. Sold.” Hell, most people would want to work simply because it gives one a sense of dignity and something to do with one’s time. (Speaking as someone who’s been unemployed, on extended sick leave, etc. in her time, the boredom and sense of isolation that comes with not having a job is almost as bad as the humiliation of having to depend on other people for one’s survival.)
And with this system, part-time jobs and “non-skilled” jobs would be much more readily available because nobody would need to work two or three jobs just to stay afloat!
Which would ALSO mean that employers and customers couldn’t shamelessly exploit employees the way they can today, because if losing a job weren’t necessarily a financial disaster, more people would be willing to walk out on jobs where they weren’t being treated with dignity.
And if this also applies to students (and it should) then student loans would become much less of a problem, and fewer people would flunk out of school because of having to juggle studies and work.
Far fewer people would be forced to stay with abusive partners, parents or roommates because they couldn’t afford to move out.
And the thing is, all those people who suddenly had money? They’d be spending it. They’d be getting all the stuff they can’t afford now - new clothes, books, toys, locally-produced food, car repairs - and with each purchase money would flow BACK to the government, because VAT, also income tax.
The unemployed and/or disabled wouldn’t need special support any more - which would also mean the government could fire however many admins who are currently engaged in humiliating - *cough* making sure those people aren’t getting money they don’t deserve. Same for medical benefits and pensions. And I’m no legal scholar, but I somehow imagine less financial desperation would lead to less petty crime, and hence less need for police and security everywhere?
TL;DR Doomie thinks this is a good idea, laughs at those who protest.

They tried something like this out in Canada as a sort of social experiment, called Mincome. What they found was that, on the whole, people continued to work about as much as they did before. Only new mothers and teenagers worked substantially less hours. 
But wait, there’s more. Because parents were spending just a little more time at home and involved with their families, test scores increased. Because teens didn’t have to work to support their families, drop-out rates decreased. Crime rates, hospital visits, psychiatric hospitalizations and domestic abuse rates all dropped, as well. More adults pursued higher education. Those who continued to work reported more job flexibility and more opportunity to choose employment they preferred.
Basically, now you can go prove to your asshole family members that society won’t collapse without poor people for you to feel better than.

Let’s translate this to mainstream US terms, as leaders in this country like to throw around buzzwords and say we’re a “nation of entrepreneurs”:
Entrepreneurship requires the ability to fail. Poor people can’t afford to fail, because for poor people, failure means homelessness and death. Rich people can afford to fail, as they have stocks, bonds, and savings. They have the golden parachute. The US can only be a “nation of entrepreneurs” if everyone has a golden parachute. Basic income is that parachute.

What would I do with a yearly income of $20,000 (very slightly above poverty level for someone in my family position)?
Here’s what I’d do:
I’d move back to Houston and start my own business while working part time to supplement that $20,000. I’d spend time networking to further my theatrical career. I’d volunteer at a library and get a car.
I’d pay off my student loans. I’ve got about $10,000 in dental work that needs done (extraction, surgical extraction, braces, two dental replacements)—I’d get right on that so my breath didn’t smell like my own rotting tooth-stump and my overall health could be protected. I’d get the mole on my neck and the one on my face removed and get a regular dermatologist to do the yearly monitor on my breast, arms, and back. I’d get into a chiropractor to sort out my back.
I’d buy books and go out with friends. I’d have a savings fund for retirement. I’d be able to get decent mental healthcare so I could get the treatment I desperately need, and be more productive. I could do a lot with $20,000 per year.
But heaven forbid our citizens have the ability to be productive. I don’t have the money to start my own business. I don’t have the money to eat—I’m living with my parents while I hunt for work, and I’m 26 years old. I’m not spending a dime I don’t have to and I’m counting every penny I do spend.
Minimum income. What a bad idea.

Um… Not to be the person in the third commenter’s strawman post, but seriously, where are they getting the money? I don’t know the population of  Sweden or their budget/revenue, but I did the calculations for the U.S. the other day at work (and maybe I got something wrong, so someone please correct me if you have better sources) but there’s about 300 million people in the U.S.  300,000,000*30,000 = 9*10^12, or 12 trillion dollars. The current annual U.S. budget is about 3 trillion dollars. Do you see how that doesn’t add up as feasible? 

It does, actually! Sorry for the long wait on reply—had to do some number crunching, as you’ll see.
1) Realize that the 300mil figure includes every man, woman, and child in the United States. Are we paying kids? Presumably not. In 2012, 23.5 percent of a population of 316mil was under 18, according to the census website. My calculator tells me that’s roughly 74 260 000 kids, bringing the number of people we’re paying for to approximately 241,740,000. Keep in mind we’re still talking whole numbers here.
2) Ah, but then  you’ve got people over 65, who are already drawing from the completely separate Social Security system, plus whatever they’ve socked away. They account for 13.7% of the population in 2012, and as the baby boomers ease on into retirement, that number will grow. A lot. So how many is that? Another 43,292,000 people, who we’ll come back to in a bit, but in our current framework of whole numbers that we haven’t broken down yet, we’re down to 198,448,000 people. Whew. So just to make sure we’ve got our numbers covered (still using the $30k figure), we’re talking just under six trillion (5,953,440-and-six-zeroes, to be exact).
3) Next, let’s realize we don’t have to pay for everyone. Mitt Romney is a billionaire who hasn’t paid taxes in 10 years, thanks to loopholes and the like. Do we need to pay him thirty grand a year? Not on your bippy. (And to make it fair, on the other side, Warren Buffet has so much money that he has estimated it would be legitimately impossible for him to spend it all in his lifetime. He doesn’t need those thirty Gs, either.) We can’t account for every single person who doesn’t need the money, so let’s just go with households earning over $100k per year.
It’s 20% of all households. So let’s take 20% of the figures between 18 and 65—198,440,000 people—and another 39.7 million folks get shaved off (39,688,000 to be exact) for a total of 158,752,000 people.
4) Ready for the complicated stuff? Here it comes: what we’re talking about is a minimum guaranteed income. So let’s assume every single one of those 159 million people is working 40 hours a week for minimum wage. Experience tells us that it’s far more likely, far more likely, that some are working three jobs to pay rent and some are pooling resources or working off the clock doing shit like gardening for cash, and we know  but let’s go with a concrete number at the federal minimum wage: that’s $15,080 per year before taxes. We need to bring that up to $30,000 guaranteed income, which will cost $14,920 per person. That cost times our remaining population is $2.37 trillion. Keep in mind that not everybody I have left in that population number needs the money.
5) But wait, there’s more! In 2013, the amount the federal government spent on Medicaid, CHIP, and other hardship programs like EITC and SNAP equaled $668bn. Subtract that amount from $2.37 trillion (yes, I’m aware that I’ve rounded up my trillions and my numbers are going to start being slightly high) and you’re left with $1.7 trillion. You no longer need those programs! We have eliminated most of the kind of poverty that those programs are intended to treat by adding the minimum income. Fuhgeddaboudit. BUT WAIT THERE’S STILL MORE. CHIP and Medicaid programs are not federal-only—you have to get matching payments from the states. That’s another $270bn, according to my calculator. (You can find the numbers I’m working from here: http://www.cbpp.org/cms/?fa=view&id=1258) Subtract that from $1.7 trillion and you’re down to $1.43 trillion.
6) But wait—there’s still more, but you were expecting that by now, right? In 2013, the United States spent $530 billion on the Defense Department, or 19% of our entire national budget. That doesn’t include our war costs or veteran benefits, by the way. That’s just the defense budget, and when you add in the costs of those wars, our budget exceeds the spending of the next thirteen nations. Hell, if you take the major defense budgets of all the countries we’re currently really pissed at (e.g. Russia), it still only equals about half our cost. All of them. The majority of the country sees no good reason for this and wants cuts—not just Democrats, but Republicans and independents too (source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2013/01/07/everything-chuck-hagel-needs-to-know-about-the-defense-budget-in-charts/; it’s an op-ed but does contain hard numbers). How much can we cut? Hard to say, but there’s no need for all of the “war conduct” we’re in (do you have any idea how many military operations we have stationed outside a country the size of a pencil eraser that has no adequate weapons and just alienated its biggest ally? That’s North Korea, by the way, and the answer is “we have the entire goddamn country surrounded like a Tom and Jerry cartoon”). Let’s go ahead and cut $100bn. Keep in mind that this figure includes the contingency that we do finally have to end the Oil Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. If applied to a basic income, that still brings us down to $1.33 trillion.
7) More? Oh, yeah, there’s more. Offshore tax havens for people who are rich as shit. They cost the federal government $150bn last year (source: http://www.uspirg.org/reports/usp/hidden-cost-offshore-tax-havens) and states another $39.8bn (same source). That’s a total of $189.8bn. So we close the loopholes that allow for those tax havens, apply that money to the minimum income, and we’re down to $1.14 trillion.
8) Same process for corporations, which shave an estimated $550bn just among Fortune500 companies per year (source: Citizens for Tax Justice. I’ve made the link into a bit.ly because it’s so long: http://bit.ly/1rfP2Wp). Guess what happens when you subtract that? We’re down below one trillion now. We’re at $590bn, to be exact.
8) And while we’re talking taxes, let’s take a look at Big Oil. It’s a demand industry, most people have cars and most people have to put gas in those cars to drive them, the big oil companies pull in billions of dollars per year, but last year Big Oil got $4bn in tax breaks from the US (source: http://americanprogress.org/issues/green/news/2013/03/12/56240/meet-the-new-oil-tax-breaks-same-as-the-old-oil-tax-breaks/). Get rid of the unnecessary tax breaks to Big Oil, and we’re at $586bn.
If I wanted to sit here all night, I could probably neutralize the entire $12 trillion figure you came up with, but I think the point is made by having reduced it to about 1/24th its original size.
Please keep in mind that this has other rewards, too. Kids who aren’t starving-poor learn better and can get better jobs, thus further diminishing the pool of people who require aid; people with enough money to take care of themselves often don’t end up on disability and require more money; etc.


This always bugged me about sports fans.
“NEEEERD!”  “You, sir, are wearing cheese.”

I think about this all the time


son these grades are unacceptable

well maybe if you’d stop eating my fucking homework dad


(via Adventurama, ‘Futurama’ Characters in the Style of ‘Adventure Time’)


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